By Gabriela Bosquez, a Chicago artist and organizer
I wish I knew the answer
In my heart is a gap of memories I never had
A painful reminder of the relationship we didn’t develop
Our relationship is of two people whose time was cut short And I can’t forgive myself for not forgiving you faster
I’m jealous of the people who knew you better than me, Deep down I don’t think it’s fair
That they got the best parts of you,
but when you were fading away slowly, they weren’t there
I think about how hard it was to plan my father’s funeral How no one can prepare you for that
I think about the arguments, the missed calls I wish I could take it all back
They say you should talk to your angels, but I don’t know what I would say
Losing you came first, then was my faith
As I try to walk my way back into my beliefs
I still can’t understand why this had to happen to me
Why did this happen to you?
I think about heaven more than ever, and I pray that it’s true
Almost a year has passed, and I’ve aged terribly
My whole world has changed, I don’t know what’s left of me
When I remember you, people don’t know what to say And after a while, no one remembers that I’m not okay
When you lose someone, your whole world stops But for everyone else, life goes on
Is there a way to grieve someone who hurt you? Cause I think I’m doing it wrong
